by Kathryn Bariou

 So I did a thing this week.  I sent off my Application to Graduate to the powers that be at Pfeiffer University.  As I hit send on the application I was struck by the trust that the entire process entailed.  In addition to the trust in that Pfeiffer would receive my application there is the interesting fact that I have not finished my course work.  Pfeiffer is trusting that I will finish it come August.  I am trusting that I will finish it come August.  There is trust involved and yet I sent it off and really haven’t worried about it, I sent it and let it go.

 If only I could say that I do that with my prayers.  Oh, it’s not that God and I don’t talk or that I don’t trust God with what I offer in my prayers.  I find that I am lacking in the area of letting it go.  I sent off my application with no hesitation or worry that it will be taken care of.  I am not stressed about finishing the last class or doing well in it.  I just am not worried.  Yet, when I offer something to God, I find that if it is not done my way or in my time, I try and take it back.  I struggle with letting it go.  

 Maybe because I know how things at Pfeiffer will work.  Register for class, take class, finish class and graduate.  I know the steps and the timeline.  It is all planned out.  God doesn’t work like that.  God does not always reveal God’s plan step by step.  In fact, I see that in my own life the more I need to trust that God has it under control the less I know of what God’s next step may be.  

 I think there may be a reason for that.  God is constant, I am the variable.  My graduating from Pfeiffer is up to me, yet it is something I know I can do.  God’s plan for me has scared me a bit each step of the way.  I don’t know that I can do what God has called me to do, but God does.  God has more trust in me than I do in myself.  Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.”  My insight is what gets me into trouble.   I have to remember that I do not have to do it alone, that God is with me.  God does not have anything in store for me for which God has not already prepared me.